This week’s Heaps Of Jokes post is a small collection of the best blonde jokes I’ve come across. I’ve got heaps of blonde jokes on WassupBlog’s Friday Funnies, and because of their popularity, I thought I may as well include some here.
Best Blonde Jokes Earning Money
A blonde, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman. She started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood thinking that was the easiest way to earn some quick cash.
She knocked on the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, porch needs painting. How much will it cost to paint that.”
The blonde thought for a bit and then replied, “How about 50 dollars?” The homeowner agreed and told her that she would find the paint and ladders in the garage. His wife, who was inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, “Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?”
The man replied, “She should. She was standing on the porch.”
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. Incredulous, the man said, “You’ve finished already?”
“Sure am,” replied the blonde, “and I had a little paint left over, so I gave it two coats.”
Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. “And by the way,” the blonde added, “that isn’t a Porch, it’s a Ferrari.”
Best Blonde Jokes Car Trouble
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died on her. He works on it for a few minutes and soon enough has it idling smoothly
She says, “So, whats the story?”
He replies, “Just crap in the carburettor.”
She asks, “How often do I have to do that?”
Best Blonde Jokes Driving
A Highway patrolman pulls alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was shocked to see the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realising she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”
“NO!” the blonde yells back, “IT’S A SCARF!”
Before you go, I reckon you’re going to love my latest video, A Diary Of A Pommie In Australia. And of course, you know, I’m always looking for YouTube subscribers.