Hilarious Cowboy Joke

This week’s Laughaholics video is all about a Cowboy Named Bud. For those of my YouTube viewers that are hearing impaired, who perhaps find the subtitles scroll past too quickly, I’ve decided to post a transcript of my hilarious cowboy joke here.

LOL Hilarious Cowboy Joke

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new Maserati drove up in a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and Rolex watch, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “I bet you one of your calves that I can tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd.”

Bud sizes the man up who’s obviously a yuppie. He then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?” Hilarious Cowboy JokeThe yuppie parks his car whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. After processing the image within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot. He then accesses an MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, “You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves.”

“That’s right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves,” says Bud. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Bud says to the young man, “Before you go if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?”

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, “Sure, why not?”

“I reckon you’re a Congressman for the U..S. Government”, says Bud.

“Wow! That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but how did you guess that?”

“No guessing required.” answered the cowboy. “You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are, and you know stuff all about how working people make a living. Heck, you know diddly-squat about cows, for that matter because this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog.

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