Religious Jokes

Even though I believe religion to be a serious topic, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have a funny side to it. Which is why I thought I would make this post about religious jokes. The first of todays religious jokes is about a dying nun.

The Mother Superior Religious Jokes

In a convent in Ireland, the 99-year-old Mother Superior lay quietly. She was dying. 

The Nuns had gathered around her bed, laying garlands around her and trying to make her last journey comfortable.  

They wanted to give her warm milk to drink, but she declined. One of the Nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.

Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.

Back at Mother Superior’s bed, they lifted her head gently and held the glass to her lips.

The very frail Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.

As her eyes brightened, the Nuns thought it would be an excellent opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader. “Mother,” the Nuns asked earnestly, “please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us.”

She raised herself on one elbow very slowly in the bed, looked at them and said: “Whatever you do when I am dead, do not sell that cow”.

religious jokes

Priest Pastor & A Rabbi

The next of our religious jokes involves a priest, a pastor and a rabbi.

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they get together.

The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first communion.”

“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”

They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the circumcision.”

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For more funny jokes check out the rest of my Heaps Of Jokes.