The Middle Age Man And the New Monaro

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I just thought I would post another Joke for anyone lucky enough to stumble upon this post.

A middle-aged man bought a brand new Holden Monaro. He took off down the road, pushed it up to 130 kph, and was enjoying the wind blowing through his (thinning) hair. This is great,’ he thought and accelerated to an even higher speed.

But then he looked in his rear-view mirror, and there was a Police Car behind him, blue and red lights flashing. I can get away from him with no problem’ thought the man and he floored it some more, and flew down the road at over 210 kph to escape being stopped.

Then he thought, ‘What the hell am I doing?

I’m too old for this kind of thing’ and pulled over to the side of the road, and waited for the Police car to catch up with him. The Policeman pulled in behind the Monaro and walked up on the driver’s side.

‘Sir my Shift ends in five minutes and today is Friday the 13th. If you can give me a good reason why you were speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.’

The man looked back at the Policeman and said, ‘Last week my wife ran off with a Policeman, and I thought you were bringing her back.’

The Policeman said, ‘Have a nice day.’


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Saying A Prayer For Irish Childless Couple

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I found this joke to be pretty funny and I thought I would share it with you. Just so you know, I’ve nothing against the Irish, you could pretty well stick any nationality in place of the Irish and I would be just as funny.

Mrs. McGervey was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father O’Flaherty.

The Father said, ‘Top o’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. McGervey and
didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband 2 years ago?’

She replied, ‘Aye, that ye did, Father.’

The Father asked, ‘And be there any wee little ones yet?’

She replied, ‘No, not yet, Father.’

The Father said, ‘Well now, I’m going to Rome next week and I’ll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband.’

She replied, ‘Oh, thank ye, Father.’ They then parted ways.

Some years later they met again. The Father asked, ‘Well now, Mrs.
McGervey, how are ye these days?’

She replied, ‘Oh, very well, Father!’

The Father asked, ‘And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?’

She replied, ‘Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!’

The Father said, ‘That’s wonderful! How is yer lovin’ hoosband doing?’

She replied, ‘E’s gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin’ candle.


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Just Like Mama Used To Make

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Pasta e casa
Image via Wikipedia

There is an old story of a bloke that used to consistently complain of his wife’s cooking. Every time she made a plate of his favorite pasta dish he would sit down, put on the Parmesan Cheese, get a fork full into his mouth, shake his head and say, “Not like mama used to make.”

Then on one particular day, when the wife was under extreme pressure, she lost track of the amount of time the sauce was on and managed to burn it. Not having enough time to make a fresh batch she decided to serve up the pasta with the burnt sauce. The husband puts a fork full into his mouth, pauses and says, “Finally, just like mama used to make!”

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