Helium Is Definitely The Place Where Writers Meet

I’ve been a member of Helium for some time now and although I’ve already written a couple of posts on them, check the related posts at the end of this one if you’re interested, I thought I should add something new in this one.

I suppose in a way you could call it an update, but it’s not like they’ve changed something that warranted an update, it’s just that this has just popped in my head and I decided to write about it. In case you’re not sure what Helium is, here’s an excerpt from their about page.

Helium is the face of the publishing revolution!

Helium is also a knowledge co-operative where our writers are also our editors who read and rate every article on the site.

At Helium, we believe that everyone can contribute what they know to share with millions of readers around the globe.

At Helium, we believe readers want a choice of viewpoints – not just one opinion on any subject.

At Helium, we believe publishers need an easier, more efficient way to get the content they need.

At Helium, great writing rises to the top. And great writing reaps great rewards.

  • Helium’s best writers earn cash through:
  • Upfront Payments for contributed work
  • Daily revenue share
  • Writing contests
  • Our best writers are recognized through:
  • Citizen Journalism Awards
  • Published articles through Marketplace
  • Professional journalism organizations

Not a bad ‘about’ page if I do say so myself. Although I don’t struggle looking for topics to write on my blogs I’ve still found that Helium has always provided me some inspiration when I visit there, which I do every couple of days so that I can vote on their articles. Voting on articles earns you ‘rating stars’ and these are necessary for earning an income on their site. While rating these articles you can see what others have written and more often than not they may inspire you to write on the same topic, meanwhile giving you fodder for another post.

Just today I had to vote on some poetry under the heading ‘If I Ruled The World“. That link will take you to my poem on Helium so you can see how it stacks up against the other poems on the same topic. It’s now rated 15 out of 27 but I’m hoping it will improve as time goes on.

[contentbox bgcolor=’f2f2f2′ border=’999999′ borderwidth=2 flareshadow=460 width=460 center=”yes”]
If I ruled the world
things would change
So many rules would be unfurled
Some may consider them strange

Do gooders would think twice
Before speaking their mind
Giving ridiculous advice
Advice that should be declined

There would be no money spent on war
There are so many better uses
Ones far better than opening the door
To fighting rape and other abuses

Politicians would be treated the same
As the people they feign to rule
If they can’t handle the game
Then they are nothing but fools

Racism will cease to exist
Everyone will be treated the same
Those whose hatred will persist
Will be looked upon with shame

Ostracized by the world united
Forced to live on their own
Waiting until realization is ignited
And they no longer have to be alone

No longer will people fight for profit
While watching others starve
As they learn the wisdom of the Prophet
It’s better to give than an empire carve
[/contentbox]

Honestly I reckon you could do worse than by joining Helium and if you’re in anyway interested just let me know in the comment section and I’ll send you a personal invitation. If you do decide to join here’s a couple of tips for you.

  1. Use Keywords: This is just as important as using it in your blog posts. Not only will it help others to find it via the search engines it also helps those using Helium’s own search facility, and the more exposure you get the more potential for increasing your income. I failed to do this at the beginning and it’s probably the main reason why I’m not earning as much as I could be.
  2. Proof Read Before Posting: This is also important as once posted you can’t edit it unless you have a leapfrog or two up your sleeve. I’ve read many a post where people haven’t proof read their article and this has always worked against them when I rate their article.

That should give you a good head start so that if you do join you will be way ahead of newbies who haven’t had anyone to counsel them on the ways of Helium.

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Pam Ayres’ I Wish I Looked After My Tits

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Cover of Pam Ayres' latest book, Surgically En...
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Edit: Thanks to Penny below I want everyone to know that this is not one of Pam’s poem. Hers has nothing to do with tits at all as her poem is all about looking after her teeth.

I’ve been known to write a few funny poems but nothing like the one I received in the email today, and by a woman too!

Oh, I wish I’d looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old Dockers,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits.

‘Cos now I’m much older and gravity’s winning.
It’s Nature’s revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits

‘Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When they’re both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it’s not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they’re less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I’d looked after me tits.

When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits

When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I’d looked after me tits..

When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they’re less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I wish I’d looked after me tits

The poets name is Pam Ayres, as if you couldn’t work that out from the title yourself 😉
You can actually buy some of her works and I reckon it would make a pretty good gift for someone who’s got everything.

I’m sure you’ll find one of those products will make a great gift.

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