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Funny Horse Joke

Post author:Peter
Reading time:3 mins read
Post published:December 8, 2019
Post category:Heaps Of Jokes

I remember this funny horse joke back when I was a kid but that was so long ago I still laughed out loud when I got it in an email today. It was so funny I just had to share this horse joke with you guys.

Funny Horse Joke To Make You Laugh

John’s Stable was well known for the quality of its horses that was where Alf went looking to buy a horse. “Listen here,” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, a weird fellow trained him. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop is to scream HiHo, and you scream Thank God to get him to go.

Alf nodding his head said, “that’s fine with me. Can I take him for a test run?” Alf was having the time of his life. This horse sure could run, he thought to himself. As Alf was speeding down the dirt road, he suddenly saw a cliff up ahead “Stop!” screamed Alf, but the horse kept on going.

No matter how much he tried, he couldn’t remember the words to get it to stop. “Yoyo” screamed Jim, but the horse just kept on speeding ahead. It was 5 feet from the cliff when Alf suddenly remembered, “HiHo” shouted Alf. The horse skidded to a halt just 1 inch from the cliff. Alf could not believe his good fortune, he looked up to the sky, raised his hands in the air, breathed a deep sigh of relief and said with conviction “Thank God.”

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Funniest Irish Joke

Post author:Peter
Reading time:4 mins read
Post published:November 28, 2019
Post category:Heaps Of Jokes

Have you ever wondered what the funniest Irish joke is? The answer would differ depending on who you would ask. I’ve heard a lot of Irish jokes, and I came across one today, which I thought was hilarious.

My Funniest Irish Joke

As typically happens, this Irish joke is drink related.

Paddy and Murphy wanted a drink of the amber fluid but only had a pound between them. Paddy, much to Murphy’s disgust, goes off and buys a sausage with the money.

Murphy says, “Are you crazy, now we’re broke, and there’s no way we can have a beer now.”

“Come on,” says Paddy, “Follow me.”

They go into a pub and order two beers and drink them. Before paying Paddy shoves the sausage through the zipper of his pants and tells Murphy to get down on his knees and suck it.

Murphy does so which causes the barman to go berserk and proceed to throw them out of his pub.

Ten pubs and ten pints later Murphy drunkenly says to Paddy, “I can’t do this anymore, my knees are killing me, and I’m pissed.”

“How do you think I feel,” replies Paddy, ” I can’t even remember which pub I lost the sausage in!”

Here’s another quick Irish joke. Paddy’s wife catches him in bed with a midget. She’s furious and yells, “You promised you would cheat again!”

Paddy replies, “Be reasonable woman, can’t you see I’m trying to cut down?”

Looking For More Jokes

You’re here because you love to laugh right? So, why not check out my Laughaholics Videos which is full of funny videos, including my funny army joke and my latest, top 10 funny blonde jokes. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers

For more funny jokes check out the rest of my Heaps Of Jokes or visit my Friday Funnies posts.

Devils Version Of Creation

Post author:Peter
Reading time:6 mins read
Post published:November 21, 2019
Post category:Heaps Of Jokes

Everyone knows the true version of creation but I’ve come across the devils version of creation. What’s funny about the devils version of creation is that it does put a smile on your face. This although it also shows how the devil is constantly at odds with all the good that God is doing

Devils Version Of Creation At Work

1. In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

2. Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, “You want chocolate with that?” And Man said, “Yes!” and Woman said, “and as long as you’re at it, add some sprinkles.” And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.

3. And God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

4. So God said, “Try my fresh green salad.” And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

5. God then said, “I have sent you heart-healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them.” And Satan brought forth deep-fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big it needed a platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it “Angel Food Cake” and said, “It is good.” Satan then created a chocolate cake and called it “Devil’s Food.”

6. God then brought forth running shoes so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

7. Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.

8. God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald’s and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, “You want fries with that?” And Man replied, “Yes! And super-size them!” And Satan said, “It is good.” And Man went into cardiac arrest.

9. God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

10. Then Satan created Cuts to the Health Care System.

Amen

Looking For More Jokes

You’re here because you love to laugh right? So, why not check out my Laughaholics Videos which has heaps of funny videos, including my funny army joke and my latest, top 10 funny blonde jokes. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers

For more funny jokes check out the rest of my Heaps Of Jokes.

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