heaps of jokes

Grumpy Old Man Jokes

Post author:Peter
Reading time:4 mins read
Post published:January 11, 2019
Post category:Heaps Of Jokes

Grumpy Old Man Jokes #1

I love a good grumpy old man jokes. I hope you do too. 😝

This old man gets on a crowded bus and to his dismay, no one is willing to give up their seat. As the bus hits a pothole the old man’s cane slips on the floor and he falls.

He struggles to get up when an eight-year-old kid, sitting nearby, casually says to him. “You know, if you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your cane, it wouldn’t slip.”

The grumpy old man snaps back, “Well if your daddy did the same thing eight years ago, I would have a seat today.”

And if that’s not funny enough check out the next grumpy old man jokes.

Grumpy Old Man Jokes #2

This grumpy old man walks into his local First Baptist Church. He come across the secretary and say, “I want to join this damn church.”

The woman finds his language repugnant and replies, “I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?”

The grumpy old man replies, “Listen up woman, dammit. I said I want to join this damn church!”

“I’m very sorry sir, but we do not tolerate that language in this church.” The secretary thought it best that the pastor should deal with this situation. She therefore leaves her desk to inform him of the situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks, “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?”

“Damn problem” he barks! “There IS no damn problem! Looky here, I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money.”

“I see,” said the pastor. “And is this bitch giving you a hard time?”

Don’t worry, the jokes don’t stop here. There’s my Heaps of Jokes category. I also have other hilarious jokes. If you love funny videos? Then you’ve got to watch my funny laughaholics videos. So as to not miss out on future funny videos you should subscribe to my YouTube channel.

Finally, I’ve also got a lot of funny sports jokes.

Little Johnny Jokes Best Of

Post author:Peter
Reading time:2 mins read
Post published:January 15, 2018
Post category:Heaps Of Jokes

I thought that for my second Heaps Of Jokes post I’ll do another little tribute to little Johnny. Especially because everyone loves little Johnny jokes! how could you not, he’s such a lovable character. 😉

As a lot of little Johnny jokes do, this next one takes place at home with his mother.

Little Johnny Jokes Honeymoon Style

Little Johnnies brother Fred finally married Mary, his childhood sweetheart. Unfortunately, Fred and Mary couldn’t afford a honeymoon. Their only option was to stay at Fred’s parent’s house.

It was the morning after the happy couples first night together that little Johnny gets up to have breakfast. As he’s going out the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.

She replies, “No”.

Johnny asks, “Do you know what I think?”

His mom replies, “I don’t want to hear what you think Johnny! Just go to school.”

Little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”

She replies, “No.”

Johnny says, “Honestly mom, do you know what I think?”

His mom replies, “Never mind what you think! Just eat your lunch and go back to school.”

After school, little Johnny comes home and asks again, “Are Fred and Mary up yet?”

His mom says “No.”

He asks for the third time, “Do you know what I think?”

His Mom exasperated, as she usually is with little Johnny, replies, “OK, OK, tell me what you think?”

He says: “Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my aeroplane glue. I think they’re really stuck together”

Because last weeks little Johnny meme was so popular I thought I would put another one together, using the Graphics Creator of course.

Yep, like I’ve always said, you just have to love little Johnny jokes.

Post author:Peter
Reading time:4 mins read
Post published:January 11, 2018
Post category:Heaps Of Jokes

I’ve decided to create a new category called Heaps Of Jokes. Why not? People love jokes, right? I know they do because my Friday Funnies posts are so popular. Not to mention my funny Sports Jokes. That being the case I’m going to attempt to write one funny sports jokes every week to build up my heaps of jokes category!

Another thing that people love is funny memes, so my heaps of jokes are going to include a lot of memes. Not just your normal meme that you’ve seen before either. I’m going to use my The Graphics Creator software to put together some really funny memes.

People also love Little johnny jokes so I though my first ever heaps of jokes post should focus on Little Johnny.

Little Johnny Heaps Of Jokes

There’s a little story behind this Little Johnny meme. At work the other day one of the team members screamed her head off because she saw a mouse. Then another team member came up to the storeman asking him to get rid of it. He just laughed. I then went up to her and out of the blue, with a concerned look on men face I said, “Carol, are you really scared of mice?” to which she answered in the affirmative. I then blurted out, “You know there’s no need for that Carol, when you see one, just drop your draws because mice are scared of pussies!”

She nearly pissed herself laughing. Mmmm, I say to myself, could I actually have come up with an original joke. So I tried it on some other team members, both male and female and they all had a great laugh. Pretty remarkable really in this age of political correctness and sexism.

So, I fired up the old Graphics Creator and created this Little Johnny meme.

Because I’ve always been a fan of Little Johnny jokes I even produced a Little Johnny Jokes video.

If you liked that video I would love it if you headed on over to YouTube to give it a thumbs up.

To finish off my first heaps of jokes post I’m going to give you a, little ripper of a Little Johnny joke

The following joke shows you the value of Catholic education and a pencil in Little Johnny’s hands.

Little Johnny’s School Sermon

It takes place in a Catholic school. Little Susie had a sleepless night and was catching up on her Zzzzz’s during class.

On this particular day, the Nun happened to call on her as she slept. ‘Tell me Susie, who created the universe?’

When Susie didn’t stir, her friend little Johnny, who happened to be sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the ass.

‘God Almighty!’ shouted Susie.

The Nun, a little surprised, ‘Very good’ and continued with her lesson.

As little Susie once again drops off, the Nun once again asks her, ‘Who is our Lord and Saviour?’

Little Johnny comes to the rescue as little Susie once again fails to stir from her slumber by sticking his pencil up her butt.

‘Jesus Christ!’ shouted Susie.

Once again the Nun says ‘Very good,’ and goes back to teaching her class.

As little Susie once again falls asleep the Nun asks her a third question… ‘What did Eve say to Adam after she had her nineteenth child?’

Little Johnny was just about to shove his pencil into her backside again when little Susie jumps up and shouts, ‘If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!’

The nun promptly fainted!

I sure hope you liked this week’s Heaps Of jokes featuring Little Johnny. If you did, why not share it with your friends to brighten up their day?

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