Today’s heaps of jokes post is about a Scotsman Englishman and Irishman. I found it really funny and I’m pretty sure you will too.
Scotsman Englishman And Irishman joke
A Scotsman Englishman and Irishman are walking along the beach one day when they see a beautiful jewel-encrusted bottle that got washed up onshore. They all went over and grabbed it at the same time. Suddenly, a genie pops out says, “Gentlemen as you all touched the bottle at precisely the same time and I can only grant three wishes, I will allow each of you a wish.”
The Genie turns to the Scotsman and says, “What would you like for your wish?”
The Scot said, “Well Laddie…” he said, “Ya know, we’ve had a pesky neighbour to the south of us over the years that keeps invading us. I want Scotland to have the most powerful army in the world. One that is invincible and no other can prevail over it!”
Do you love parrot jokes? Good, here are some of the best parrot jokes I’ve ever heard. Well, I think they’re the best parrot jokes but I think it’s for you to decide.
Do you love parrot jokes? Good, here are some of the best parrot jokes I’ve ever heard. Well, I think they’re the best parrot jokes, but I think it’s for you to decide.
Best Parrot Jokes Foul Mouth Parrot
A man inherits a parrot when his friend dies. Unfortunately, the parrot won’t stop swearing using foul words like you dumb f@ck, a cu#t, and a bunch of other unmentionable words. The man tries everything to get this bird to stop swearing, but nothing works.
Finally fed up with the foul-mouthed parrot he sticks him in the freezer. But, even from in the freeze, he hears the bird swearing at him. Then, all of a sudden, the parrot falls silent. The man getting worried thinks he’s killed the parrot. He opens the freezer. The parrot hops out, saying, “I’m very sorry for how I spoke to you, sir. I have one question; What did the chicken do?”
The Horny Parrot
A man thought that his wife was cheating on him but didn’t know how to prove it. One day a friend told him about this pet store that sold these brilliant parrots, and he thought he would buy one to spy on his wife.
He goes to the pet store and asks to buy a parrot. The owner apologises and says he only has one parrot left but that the parrot didn’t have any legs.
“Well, that’s no good to me,” says the man. “How is he going to spy on my wife if he can’t stand on the perch?”
“That won’t be a problem,” says the storekeeper. “He simply hangs one with his little pecker.”
Finally, the man decides to give it a go and purchase the parrot. After providing the parrot with his instructions, the man places the parrot so he could keep an eye on the bedroom.
That evening he comes home and says to the parrot, “Well, what happened?”
“Well, after you left I heard a knock on the door,” says the parrot. “Your wife opens the door to this well-built man. Then she kissed him passionately!”
“Yeah, and then what happened?”
“Well, they carried on to the bedroom where they were ripping each other’s clothes off.”
“Yes, yes, and then what?”
“I don’t know, I cracked a stack and fell off the perch!”
Even though I believe religion to be a serious topic, it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t have a funny side to it. Which is why I thought I would make this post about religious jokes. The first of todays religious jokes is about a dying nun.
The Mother Superior Religious Jokes
In a convent in Ireland, the 99-year-old Mother Superior lay quietly. She was dying.
The Nuns had gathered around her bed, laying garlands around her and trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They wanted to give her warm milk to drink, but she declined. One of the Nuns took the glass back to the kitchen.
Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior’s bed, they lifted her head gently and held the glass to her lips.
The very frail Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.
As her eyes brightened, the Nuns thought it would be an excellent opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader. “Mother,” the Nuns asked earnestly, “please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us.”
