This week’s Laughaholics video is all about a Cowboy Named Bud. For those of my YouTube viewers that are hearing impaired, who perhaps find the subtitles scroll past too quickly, I’ve decided to post a transcript of my hilarious cowboy joke here.
LOL Hilarious Cowboy Joke
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new Maserati drove up in a cloud of dust. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and Rolex watch, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, “I bet you one of your calves that I can tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd.”
Bud sizes the man up who’s obviously a yuppie. He then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, “Sure, Why not?”
I think you’re going to like this week’s LOL helicopter ride joke. It’s the first time I’ve featured a LOL helicopter ride joke in my heaps of jokes category. It’s one of those jokes whose ending is so unexpected it has you in stitches.
Funny As LOL Helicopter Ride Joke
Walter takes his wife Ethel to the state fair every year, and every time he’d say to her, “Ethel, you know how much I’d love to go for a ride in that helicopter.” But Ethel would always reply, “I know that Walter, but that helicopter ride is 50 dollars and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”
One year, they go to the fair, and Walter says to Ethel, “Ethel, I’m 87 years old now. If I don’t ride that helicopter this year, I may never get another chance.” But again, Ethel replies, “Walter, you know it will cost 50 dollars, and 50 dollars is 50 dollars.”
OK, you guys know how much I love to share my funny emails right? Well this one is a killer, I really hope you enjoy it.
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don’t take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don’t know, but you know deserves it.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I’d forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it.A man answered, saying ‘Hello.’ I politely said, ‘This is Chris.Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?’
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear ‘Get the right f***ing number!’And the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn’t believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn’s correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.After hanging up with her,I decided to call the ‘wrong’ number again.
When the same bloke answered the phone, I yelled ‘You’re an arsehole!’
And hung up. I wrote his number down with the word ‘arsehole’ next to it, And put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I’d call him up and yell, ‘You’re an arsehole!’ It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic ‘arsehole’ calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, ‘Giday, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I’m calling to see if you’re familiar with our Caller ID Program?’ He yelled ‘NO!’ And slammed down the phone.I quickly called him back and said, ‘That’s because you’re an arsehole!’And hung up.
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.Some bloke in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I’d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me.I noticed a ‘For Sale ‘ sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first arsehole (I had his number on speed dial) I thought that I’d better call the BMW arsehole, too. I said, ‘Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?’ He said, ‘Yes, it is.’ I then asked, ‘Can you tell me where I can see it?’ He said, ‘Yes, I live at 34 Gumtree Blvd. , in Strathfield It’s a yellow outback style house And the car’s parked right out in front.’ I asked, ‘What’s your name?’ He said, ‘My name is Peter Costello.’ I asked, ‘When’s a good time to catch you, Peter?’ He said, ‘I’m home every evening after five.’ I said, ‘Listen, Peter, can I tell you something?’ He said, ‘Yes?’ I said, ‘Peter, you’re an arsehole!’ Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two arseholes to call. Then I came up with an idea…I called arsehole #1. He said, ‘Hello’ I said, ‘You’re an arsehole!’ (But I didn’t hang up.) He asked, ‘Are you still there?’ I said, ‘Yeah!’ He screamed, ‘Stop calling me’ I said, ‘Make me.’ He asked, ‘Who are you?’ I said, ‘My name is Peter Costello.’ He said, ‘Yeah? Where do you live?’ I said, ‘Arsehole, I live at 34 Gumtree Blvd. , in Strathfield, a yellow outback style home and I have a black Beamer parked in front.’ He said, ‘I’m coming over right now, Peter. And you had better start saying your prayers.’ I said, ‘Yeah, like I’m really scared, arsehole,’ and hung up.
Then I called Arsehole #2. He said, ‘Hello?’ I said, ‘Hello, arsehole,’ He yelled, ‘If I ever find out who you are…’ I said, ‘You’ll what?’ He exclaimed, ‘I’ll kick your arse’ I answered, ‘Well, arsehole, here’s your chance. I’m coming over right now.’ Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I was on my way over to 34 Gumtree Blvd , in Strathfield , to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 7 News about the gang war going down in Gumtree Blvd in Strathfield ..
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Strathfield . I got there just in time to watch two arseholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew. NOW I feel much better.
Anger management really does work.
Told you it was funny. Here are some products regarding anger management that you may find of interest, including one really funny video.
