Funny Military Jokes
Although there is nothing funny about wars, there are quite a few funny military jokes are floating around. Here’s the first of the military jokes I’ve come across.
A soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt? I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed.
A moment later two military police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”
The nun replied, pointing, “He went that way.”
After the military police ran off the soldier crawled out from under the nun’s skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough Sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Iraq to fight.”
The nun said, “I understand completely.”
The soldier then replied, “I hope I’m not being rude, but you have a great set of legs?”
The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great set of balls. I don’t want to go to Iraq either.
The next of my military jokes involves Little Johnny.
Little Johnny’s Drunk Army Aunt
In a classroom of third graders, the teacher says to the kids, “Today, class, we will be telling stories that have a moral to them.” She explained what a moral to a story was and asked for volunteers.
Little Suzie raises her hand.
Suzie: ” I live on a farm and we have a chicken that laid 12 eggs, we were excited to have 12 more chickens but only 6 of them hatched.”
Teacher: “That’s a good story, now what is the moral?”
Suzie: ” Don’t count your chickens before they are hatched.”
Teacher: “Very good Suzie, anyone else?” xdzasdcasdasdasdasdasdasdasdasd
Ralphie: “Yes teacher, I was carrying some eggs which I bought for my mom in my bicycle basket one day and I crashed my bike and all the eggs broke.”
Teacher: “That’s a nice story, what is the moral?”
Ralphie: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”
Teacher: ” Very good Ralphie, anyone else?”
Little Johnny: ” Yes teacher, my Aunt Karen is in the army, and when she was in the Gulf War, she parachuted down with only a gun, 20 bullets, a knife, and a six-pack of beer. On her way down, she drank the six-pack. When she landed, she shot 20 Iraqis and killed ten of them with her knife.”
Teacher: “Very interesting, Johnny, what is the moral to your story?”
Little Johnny: “Don’t fuck with Aunt Karen when she’s drunk.”
Finally, even though it’s not military related, I’m going to share with you my Funny Greek Joke. While there you should check out my Laughaholics Videos which has heaps of funny videos. You may even want to subscribe to my channel. I’m always looking for new subscribers.
For more funny jokes check out the rest of my Heaps Of Jokes.